Memories of Another Life
by Elli
Summary: Revised. Blair's life didn't just begin when he met Jim Ellison.


Title: Memories of Another Life

Author: Elli

Diclaimer:The Sentinel and its characters belong to Petfly Productions, no money is being made or infringement intended.

Summary: Blair's life didn't just begin when he met Jim Ellison.  
Timeline: TsbyBS doesn't exist, Blair is still a TA and still working on his dissertation.

Note: Fixed some mistakes, added a few words here and there. Previously posted on the Sentinel Angst list.

denotes memories.

* * *

Memories of Another Life

…"I'll be home in twenty minutes, tops!"

A smile filled his voice. "I can't wait to see you two, six weeks was way to long!"

"Gods I know what you mean, next time all of us are going, you hear?" 

Laughter filled his voice "yes dear."

"Good, then we know whose boss," she said and he smiled as her beautiful laughter rang in his ear.

"Be careful love."

She laughed again, "yes dear"…

+++ October 1, 1999 – 5:08 a.m.+++

He woke up with a start, sweat pouring down his neck and forehead, breaths coming in short gasps and heart pounding in his chest. 

+++ 7:00 a.m.+++

"Morning Jim," Blair said, as a hair rumpled, bare chested, Jim Ellison who slowly came down from his bedroom, an hour before they were expected at the station.

"Argh, its to early to be that awake Chief," then smelling breakfast asked "have I got enough time for a shower?"

"Yeah man, should be about done in 10, so don't be long," Blair said as went back to the oven to check on the fresh bread he was currently baking which was about ready to come out and be cooled.

"Right," Jim replied just before he headed for his shower. 

Minutes later a much more awake and appropriately dressed Jim Ellison again came down his bedroom stairs, to what could be described as a lavish breakfast which he readily lunged into.

Half way through his scrambled eggs, bacon, bread, pancakes and freshly brewed coffee, Jim Ellison finally noticed that not only had his health nut partner cooked this highly unhealthy breakfast but also it seemed, that same health nut partner was not eating any of it.

Finishing a bite of his eggs Jim looked up at his Blair, who was currently sipping a cup of coffee and staring into space.

"You know, there's more than enough for two here, Sandburg."

Taking his mind away from where ever it had drifted of to, Blair Sandburg turned his attention back to his partner. "Not the way you're going at it man."

Jim rolled his eyes, "Common dig-in, we leave in ten Sandburg."

"Nah, man, I've already had my algae shake."

"Don't even make me go into how that is not breakfast Chief."

"Right man, and that cholesterol filled stuff is?"

"Well you should know kid, you're the one who spent who knows how long cooking it, just how long have you been up?" Jim asked with concern filling his voice.

"Couldn't sleep, thought I'd give you a once in a blue moon treat, you're not complaining are you?" Blair replied with a small smile that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Do you see me complaining?" 

"Whatever man, we better be going if you don't want Simon yelling at us."

Quickly finishing up his breakfast, Jim finally turned his mind back to his original concern, "You sure you're okay, Chief?"

"Yeah, man."

* * * *

*Knock-knock* *knock-knock"

"Blair Sandburg?"

+++ October 04 1999 – 2:28 p.m.+++

"Blair Sandburg?"

"Shit!" Blair exclaimed, as he was startled from his thoughts, knocking over the coffee on his desk.

After quickly cleaning up the mess Blair looked up at the man standing patiently in front of him, "Sorry officer-"

"Officer Hobbs, Sir, Captain Banks asked me to take you to Cascade General."

"Right, right, just got off the phone with him," Blair said as he stood up from his desk and quickly gathered his things together. He berated himself for not doing it immediately after Simon's call which had informed him that Jim had been shot. Fortunately before Blair could become too panicked he was assured that the injury wasn't too severe and a car would be there to pick him up in moments. Nevertheless upon hanging up with Simon he'd become distracted with painful memories, memories that were just too fresh this time of the year.

"Bad week," Blair mumbled as he swung his backpack around and started to follow the officer to his squad car. In fact, the week couldn't get any worse. Jim being shot was just over kill. 

* * * * 

"What, what, are you telling me?"

"There is nothing we can do, the impact of the other car was just too severe, she'll never awaken from the coma," the Doctor replied grimly.

His face lost the little remaining colour that was left. *They were both gone, he had no one.* "This can't be happening, oh god, oh god."

+++October 04 1999 – 40 minutes later+++

"Sandburg, you ok?" the gruff voice of Simon Banks asked as he came back from talking with Jim Ellison's Doctor.

Broken from his dazed thoughts Blair Sandburg turned his concentration towards Simon. "Were you just talking to Jim's Doctor?"

Giving Blair a concerned look, Simon nodded. "Yeah, he came through the surgery fine, should be out by tomorrow morning. He was lucky this time."

Blair nodded in agreement. Simon had informed of the details of the shooting moments after he had arrived. It was meant to be a simple bust on gun racketeer: Andrew Johnson, but like their usual luck, Johnson had somehow got around the other officers and was able to shoot Jim just as Detective Henry Brown took him down with one bullet. In all honesty, Browns shot had saved Jim's life as it was able to push Johnson's aim just enough to the left that Jim had a severe, yet treatable shoulder injury.

"Sandburg!"

"What, oh sorry, were you saying something Simon?" 

"Just wondering where you have been off to lately? You know you've had Jim worried since the mysterious early breakfast Monday, you're not in trouble are you?" Simon Banks asked as he sat down next Blair.

"Nah, no trouble Simon, just some memories this time of year, you know how it is."

Simon didn't have a clue 'how it was' but realised he was far from the first person Sandburg would confide. And anyway, Jim hadn't seemed overly concerned by Sandburg's behaviour. In fact he'd commented that Sandburg just got this way from time to time, sleepless and thoughtful, nothing to worry about.

"Ok then, well Jim won't be out of recovery for another couple hours, how about I buy you something that at least resembles a coffee, downstairs."

Blair nodded his acceptance and once again picked up his backpack this time following Simon.

* * * * 

He looked at the still figure, tubes everywhere, machines beeping, dripping, whooshing.

"I love you," he said, then kissed her still warm cheek. 

Tears falling from his eyes, he nodded his assent to the Doctor. Moments later the only sound that filled the room was the long screeching of the heart monitor that indicated her heart had stopped beating.

+++Cascade General, 6:04pm+++

"Chief, Sandburg, BLAIR!" Jim finally yelled hoarsely trying to get his friend to wake-up from what seemed to be one of the worst nightmares Jim had ever seen his friend go through.

"Wha...Jim, shit man," Blair said breathing heavily, trying to get his body back under control. He hadn't meant to fall asleep, it was only six in the evening, but with the lack of sleep lately, he wasn't all surprised he had nodded off, just completely annoyed with himself.

"Damn, Jim, I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to wake you up," guilt clearly lacing his voice.

Jim gave him a sympathetic smile, to tired from the anaesthetic and blood loss to allow him to respond any further for a moment.

"Shit, I'm sorry man, are you in pain? Do you need a drink? Maybe I should I get a Doctor?" 

Finally filling strong enough Jim answered. "Drink Chief."

"Right, right, sorry," picking up the glass from the bedside table Blair helped Jim sip the water a few times.

"Thanks, are you okay."

"Yeah, man, I'm good, kinda stressed about everything you know."

Jim nodded his head in understanding. "Why don't you go home, get some rest before you come pick me up bright and early in the morning."

"You sure man?" Blair asked, worried about leaving Jim alone.

"I'm sure, just gonna sleep the night, I'll be fine."

"Okay man, I'll come back around ten."

Jim nodded his agreement and was asleep moments after Blair left the room.

* * * * 

"There lives were taken to soon, but there memories no matter how short, will live in the lives of all that new them, ashes to ashes, dust to dust…"

He could only stare blankly as the coffins were lowered in the ground on top of each other. He could hear the sobs all around him, but he hadn't cried since the Doctor turned of the machines. Without them he realised, he no longer existed so there was really no reason to cry.

+++October 05 1999 – 9.00 a.m.+++

Blair sat down on the wet grave yard grass facing the same grave stone he had visited countless times before. 

"I bought some red and white roses this time," he said as he placed them in the vase that was imbeded in the ground, then poured some water from the water bottle he had also brought along. 

Finally filling the vase and pulling away he started talking again. "Jim got himself shot again, so I can only stay for a bit, I'll come back again in a few days when he's up to being by himself."

Placing his finger on the stone he traced the date that the first inscription held, October 5th 1990. "Doesn't seem that long you know. Nine years. I'm always thinking about you both, wondering what you would look like now. I'll never forget either of you, you know that right. I wish you were here." A sob escaped his lips before he could catch it and he had to press his palms into his eyes to stop the sob from turning into anything further. 

Finally, calming down Blair looked at his watch hardly believing that he'd been there for over half an hour.

Getting up Blair touched the stone one last time before heading back to his car. 

* * * * 

"Will you Sarah Jane Wilson, take Blair Jacob Sandburg to be your lawfully wedded husband?

She smiled brightly squeezing Blair's hand excitedly as she answered "I do."

+++Thirty minutes later+++

"Thought you were never going to get here Chief," a dressed and more then ready Jim Ellison exclaimed at the site of his five minute late friend.

"Sorry man, had some things to take care of, so you ready to escape?" 

"Most definitely," noticing the sadness in his friend Jim asked the same question he had been asking for days, "you okay?"

"Yeah man, just hate hospitals, common let's get you signed out."

* * * * 

"Oh my god, oh my god!!" He couldn't believe this, he was, he was…

"So, what do you think, Daddy!" She smiled happily at her husband, laughing as his face changed from shock to excitement.

"You're the most beautiful mother in the world, that's what I think," he said before finally kissing her with all the love and excitement he felt.

+++9:24 p.m.+++

"If you need anything through the night man, let me know, ok?"

"Yes, Blair."

"Good okay, I'm gonna turn on the white noise generator, it'll help you sleep better, and there's a jug of water next to you, along with you pain meds. You need them you take them," Blair said sternly.

"Yes, Blair."

"Good, okay." 

"Go on, get to bed yourself, you look even worse then I do, and least I have an excuse."

Blair nodded and headed for the stairs before adding "Jim, old age is not an excuse."

"I may be old kid, but I still know 101 ways to kill, now scat."

"Right," Blair called out as he quickly heading down the stairs and towards his bed.

* * * * 

"It's a beautiful, healthy, baby girl, congratulations. Have you picked a name?"

Blair smiled at his tired, sweaty, but most beautiful wife on earth.

"Isabelle Hope," he finally said as the Doctor handed over the crying infant to her mother.

+++11:55 p.m.+++

Finally giving up on sleep, Blair pulled out a photo album of a life that only few new ever existed. Flipping to the last page, he looked at the very last photo ever taken of his twenty-two year old wife and two and half year old daughter. 

Blair traced their faces with his finger willing himself never to forget even one moment of the life he had shared with them. Tears appeared in his eyes and he didn't try to stop them and finally when the tears turned to sobbing Blair buried his head in his pillow where he cried himself asleep.

"love you da-da," Blair's smile turned radiant.

"I love you too Belle."

The End


End file.
